When my divorce became final it only seemed natural that I’d begin to plan a party.

Originally I had thought it’d be a joint celebration with my Birthday at the end of July, but the courts took more time than anticipated.
This party has been a phantom beacon for me to look to through the divorce process, I never really knew when or where it would be but I knew it would be happening someday.
When things got really tough I even created a Divorce Wish List on Amazon.com to keep my mood light, maybe the prospect of “registering” for my divorce since I’d never registered for my wedding would be something positive to focus on.

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I know I’m not the only person who thinks the universe is out to get them with little signs and symbols of recognition and remembrance appearing on a daily basis, confirming that no matter how hard you try to separate – your past and present will always maintain strings of connection.

This time I roll my eyes. It was one thing to see the woman on the subway stairs in front of me carrying a copy of “Don’t Make Me Think”, a web usability theory book that I associate with E and his return to employment in the Spring of 2003. But now I’m on the train and staring at the passenger next to me who is wearing a Tshirt advertising the opening of the 14th Street Apple Store on “12.7.07″, the date that was our 5th wedding anniversary and the last we would celebrate as a couple. Less than 2 months after that date, I was going…going…

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So if I’m Sisyphus, does that make E the boulder I am condemned to spend eternity with?

Wait. Maybe I’m Ophelia?

My friends and loved ones sometimes tease me because I’m always talking jinxes and karma.
Maybe I should just call it all bad luck.
My divorce proceedings have become nearly Shakespearean in their dramatic irony; just when the crest of real change and happiness is visible in the distance, something unexpected sends me sliding back to what feels like the very beginning.

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